How do I know if I have Trauma? Part 2 Signs of Trauma
/Dr. Gabor Moté said it well, “Trauma is not just what happened to you. It’s what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
Trauma doesn’t always shout, sometimes it whispers through our bodies, our emotions, and our relationships. And unlike a physical wound that can easily be seen, the psychological and emotional wounds we sustain can be harder to recognize, because our wounds often hide in the adaptations we made to survive.
How we adapted at a young age such as, shutting down, pleasing others, being acutely aware of other people’s emotions, highly skilled at reading body language, over working or achieving, etc, is how we stayed connected with others in order to survive.
So what are some of the more common signs of trauma?
Feeling like you have to stay “on” all the time, even when you are exhausted.
Finding yourself disconnected from others, from your own feelings, and even from your own body.
Having difficulty trusting others, or feeling safe in relationships.
Blaming yourself when things go wrong even when it’s not your fault. Or being perfectionistic.
Being drawn to people or situations that hurt, with or without fully understanding why.
Wanting closeness, but pulling away when you find you are getting close.
Living with a deep, almost invisible loneliness, even when you are surrounded by others.
Constantly feeling like you are not good enough, or lovable. Or feeling like you are too much for people.
Having negative self talk.
Carrying a shame based view of yourself, or deep sense that something is wrong with you.
If any of this resonates with you, it’s ok. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re “making a big deal out of nothing.” It means you found creative ways to protect yourself.
And now, maybe, there is a part of you that is ready for something different.